I’M A Celeb star Frankie Bridge said that she would “love to not have depression and anxiety” as she opened up about her crippling mental health battles.
The 32-year-old star – who was left in tears earlier this week following a row with campmate Naughty Boy – said medication and therapy has helped her to overcome her struggles.
Earlier this year, Frankie told fans on Instagram: “I’d love to not have depression and anxiety if that was possible, that would be wonderful.”
Speaking about being a mental health ambassador: “I think I’d got to the point where I was like, ‘I can use my platform in a different way and to use it to try and help other people’.
“It’s something I’m the most proud of because it’s something I’ve worked on from the ground upwards and it’s something personal.”
The Loose Women panellist opened up about her daily battles with crippling insecurities and the inner turmoil she faced as a first-time mum.
And that includes the harrowing time she convinced herself she had killed her elder son Parker, now seven, when he was just a baby.
Recalling the incident in her new book Grow: Motherhood, Mental Health & Me, Frankie, 32, explains how she had taken him to get his chickenpox vaccine before his first birthday after she was advised to do so by a medical professional.
However afterwards she was told by her paediatrician she should have waited until he turned 12 months, and Frankie — also mum to Carter, six — writes: “The guilt and fear I had felt throughout the day spiralled. And it resulted in a complete meltdown.
“My paranoia kicked into overdrive too and I became convinced I had killed my child, before he’d even really got the chance to live.”
In reality, although having the vaccine before Parker was less than a year old was not advised, it simply meant it would not work, rather than causing him any harm.
But the incident left a distraught Frankie feeling she was a “failure” of a mother who was “a waste of space, bound to let my kids down”.
Crisis moment
In the book, which is aimed at helping others who are going through similar experiences, she also opens up about suffering from separation anxiety. Frankie, who married former Chelsea star Wayne Bridge in 2014, says that leaving Parker to go on honeymoon led to another breakdown.
Frankie says her mental health struggles flared up during both her pregnancies, and like many new mums she found it hard to come to terms with her changing body.
She writes: “On one hand I felt immense pride in the fact that my body was growing another human.
“On the other hand I also carried the immense weight of underlying shame. I was so ashamed and if I’m honest, shocked that I wasn’t a gorgeous, glowing, neat and tidy pregnant woman.
“My bum was bigger than my bump most of the time.”
Her career as a pop star had begun when she was picked to be a singer in youth group S Club Juniors when she was just 12.
She was part of the group for three years before she was picked to join girl band The Saturdays, alongside Una Healy, Rochelle Humes, Mollie King and Vanessa White, in 2004.
Being in the spotlight as one of the UK’s best-known all-female groups worsened Frankie’s troubles.
During their seven-year reign in the charts, they scored 13 Top Ten hits and one No1 album, until they announced they were going on hiatus in 2014. While the band were riding high, Frankie says her self-confidence plummeted.
She writes: “My looks got me things that I wanted but never believed I deserved to have. I felt my body was my only asset.
“So I began to restrict my food intake, feeling worthy and excited if my bones were jutting out and believing that going to bed hungry was a huge accomplishment.”
Frankie’s use of antidepressants also saw her battle with her body image worsen. During her first pregnancy, she put on four stone because of a side effect of the tablets she was taking.
Feeling pressured to maintain her pop star image, she says she would come home from work sobbing after having to keep up a pretence in front of those she worked with.
The TV star has become a favourite to win the ITV show after impressing fans with her first challenge.
