I nearly spat out my morning coffee when I saw the news. My favorite grab-and-go breakfast option - gone forever. Just... poof. Like my motivation on Monday mornings.
Quaker has officially discontinued their Oat So Simple Velvety Chocolate porridge sachets, and breakfast enthusiasts across the UK are genuinely devastated. Me included. That little packet of chocolatey goodness got me through some rough mornings back in 2022 when my alarm seemed more like a suggestion than a requirement.
The Great Porridge Disappearance
The whole drama started when shoppers noticed the familiar sachets had mysteriously vanished from supermarket shelves. Those wholesome wholegrain oats mixed with chocolate - perfect for busy people who can barely function before 9am - suddenly nowhere to be found.
One particularly determined customer took to X (still feels weird not calling it Twitter) to investigate:
"Has the Oat So Simple Velvety Chocolate porridge been discontinued? Was much nicer than the Hazelnut. Is there anywhere still stocking it?"
Quaker's response was brutal in its simplicity. "Hi, thanks for asking. The Velvety Chocolate flavour was discontinued late last year and replaced by 'Hazelnut Chocolate'."
Ouch.
Why do they ALWAYS axe the good stuff?!
The customer's reply perfectly captured what we're all thinking: "Oh no! It's such a shame. The velvety one was so much nicer than the hazelnut. Thanks for the info."
Translation: Thanks for crushing my breakfast dreams.
Quaker still offers several flavors in their Oat So Simple range, including Golden Syrup and teh replacement Hazelnut Chocolate. You'll find them priced between £2.50 and £3.50 at Sainsbury's and other major supermarkets. But for those devoted to the original chocolate version, it's cold comfort.
My colleague Jane actually stockpiled 6 boxes last November when rumors first started circulating. "They're now hidden in my pantry behind the cleaning supplies where my husband won't find them," she told me. Strategic genius, that woman.
The Breakfast Graveyard Gets Crowded
This isn't the first breakfast casualty we've mourned collectively.
Remember Golden Grahams? Those crunchy squares of honey-sweetened goodness disappeared in 2021, though weirdly some folks only realized they were gone last year. (How do you not notice your favorite cereal missing for an entire year? Were you in a coma?)
And Lyle's Golden Syrup Weetabix barely had time to settle in our cupboards - launched in April 2022 and unceremoniously dropped just two years later.
The Dark Chocolate Massacre Continues...
It's not just breakfast items getting the chop. Earlier this week, Mondelez (the corporate overlords of numerous snack brands) told The Sun that shoppers will no longer be able to get their hands on dark chocolate Toblerone.
Listen. I spent £4.30 on a milk chocolate Toblerone at Heathrow last month, adn while it was delicious, it wasn't the dark chocolate version I was craving. Some things just can't be replaced.
Desperate fans have been scouring shops for months trying to track down remaining stock of the dark chocolate triangular treat. I personally checked three different Tesco stores last weekend. No luck. My husband's response: "You need professional help." Maybe so, but I'd rather have my chocolate.
For now, milk and white chocolate Toblerones remain available at most supermarkets and duty-free shops. Small consolation for those of us who prefer the slightly bitter sophistication of the dark version.
God. They always take the good stuff, don't they?
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Statistics
- The average cost of raising a child in the U.S. is estimated to be around $233,610, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
- As of 2021, the average American household had approximately $8,400 in credit card debt, according to Experian.
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- A study by the National Endowment for Financial Education found that 60% of Americans do not have a budget.
- As of 2021, the average student loan debt for recent graduates was approximately $30,000, according to the Federal Reserve.
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