Jesus Christ. Just when I thought I'd seen it all in my decade of food writing. Domino's – yes, the pizza people – have created what might be the most disturbing Easter treat in history: a white chocolate egg INFUSED WITH GARLIC AND HERBS. Not a typo. Not an April Fool's joke that escaped containment. An actual product someone approved.
I literally spat out my coffee when the press release landed in my inbox yesterday. My first thought? "This has to be a marketing stunt." My second thought? "I need to try this monstrosity immediately."
What Fresh Hell Is This?
So here's teh deal – Domino's has taken their iconic Garlic & Herb dip (you know, the one we all hoard like apocalypse currency) and somehow convinced food scientists to infuse those flavors into white chocolate. And because that apparently wasn't cursed enough, they're including a 25g pot of the actual dip alongside it. For dipping. Your chocolate. Into garlic sauce.
The pictures show this pale, innocent-looking egg that could pass for any bougie Easter treat. Except it's harboring a dark, garlicky secret.
Domino's Has Been Sniffing Their Own Supply
This isn't even their first rodeo with bizarre brand extensions. Remember back in February when they released that Pepperoni Passion perfume? My editor bet me $20 I wouldn't wear it on a date. I did. I'm still single.
And don't get me started on their "Pothole Pro Max" – a delivery bike with a built-in oven designed to handle Britain's crumbling infrastructure. Actually kinda brilliant, if I'm honest.
...But WHY Though?
According to Izzy Gardener from Domino's (who I imagine drew the short straw for spokesperson duties): "Easter is the perfect time to treat yourself, and we wanted to bring a fun, flavour-packed twist to the traditional chocolate egg."
Fun. Sure. Like how getting food poisoning is "fun."
Apparently in 2023, Brits consumed enough Garlic & Herb dip to fill 17 Olympic swimming pools. Which is both impressive and deeply concerning for our collective breath situation.
The Fancy-Ass Production Video
Listen. They went ALL OUT with the marketing. There's this hilariously pretentious video showing some poor chef melting white chocolate, sprinkling in dried parsley, and whisking it together like they're creating the Mona Lisa of confectionery. Then they pour it into egg molds with all the reverence of handling the Crown Jewels.
The finished product sits on a plinth (a PLINTH!) in packaging that matches their signature dip containers. I can't decide if this is genius or madness.
God help us all.
Wanna Ruin Your Easter? Here's How:
If you're some kind of culinary daredevil, you can try to snag one of these limited-edition monstrosities between April 4th and 14th at dominoseasteregg.com. I'm genuinely tempted to try, if only to settle a bet with my colleague who swears this is just a publicity stunt and they'll never actually ship these things.
A Domino's spokesperson added: "To our knowledge, nothing like this has been created before..." Yeah, no shit. There's usually a reason when something hasn't been done before.
The Easter Egg Black Market Is No Joke
Meanwhile, in more conventional Easter news, M&S is dealing with their own chocolate drama. Their fancy Extra Thick Pistachio Milk Chocolate Egg and Outrageously Chocolatey Custard Cream Biscuity Egg have become impossible to find, with scalpers reselling them online for double the price.
I spent 3 hours last weekend hunting for that damn Custard Cream egg across four different M&S stores. Nothing. Zilch. One exhausted employee told me, "We got six in on Tuesday and they were gone in 8 minutes." Poor guy looked like he'd been through war.
Some desperate souls are paying up to £40 for eggs that originally cost £20. I feel stupid now for not buying up stock in February to fund my summer vacation.
Supermarket Easter Deals (That Don't Taste Like Garlic)
If you're looking for more... conventional Easter treats, Tesco has slashed prices on some premium eggs. Their Lindt and Ferrero Rocher options are down to £12-15 with a Clubcard, reduced from £17.50-20.
Though shoppers are still bitching about the prices on Facebook. One comment I saw: "£12 is still daylight robbery for what amounts to £3 worth of chocolate in fancy packaging." Harsh but... not wrong?
Anyway, if anyone manages to get their hands on Domino's garlic abomination, please let me know how it tastes. I'm morbidly curious but also... afraid.
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