
Listen. I'm not what anyone would call a gardening expert. My history with plants is basically a crime scene - I've killed more innocent greenery than I care to admit. But yesterday, while wandering through Home Bargains (looking for those cheap protein bars they sometimes have), I stumbled across something that might actually save my pathetic excuse for a garden.
This heatwave is absolutely brutal
With temperatures hitting 26C today and supposedly climbing to a sweltering 29C tomorrow, my poor plants have been giving me the botanical equivalent of a death stare. I've tried the whole "remembering to water them" thing, but let's be honest - I get distracted by literally anything shiny.
That's why this Jardin Mechanical Water Timer caught my eye. It's only £4.99! My coffee this morning cost more than that.
What's this magical thing actually do?
It's basically a little mechanical timer that attaches to your outdoor tap. You twist this comfort dial thingy, and it waters your plants for anywhere between 5 minutes to a full 2 hours. Then it just... stops. By itself. No more drowning your plants because you forgot you left the hose running while you went inside to "quickly" check Instagram for 45 minutes.

God. The number of times I've done that.
The "I'm an adult who has their life together" garden setup
Back in 2021, I spent nearly £200 on plants for my garden. Two weeks later, half were crispy brown disasters because I went to my mate's birthday weekend and completely forgot they existed. This little gadget would've saved me so much money and plant-guilt.
The timer connects to sprinklers and hose pipes, which means it works with pretty much any garden setup. Mine is what I'd generously call "chaotic" - a mix of pots, beds, and things I'm not entirely sure I planted but have appeared anyway.
You can switch it to manual mode too if you suddenly need water right away.

Technical bits (that I pretend to understand)
It has a 3/4" BSP Tap Connector that fits with 1/2" & 3/4" hose connectors. The connector isn't included though, which is a bit annoying. My neighbor Dave (who actually knows about garden stuff) tells me this is pretty standard and I probably already have what I need in teh shed somewhere.
Home Bargains describes it as making "watering your garden a breeze" which feels like an understatement when you're as forgetful as me.
The timer is supposedly watertight and durable. We'll see about that - my garden seems to be where things go to mysteriously break.
Other fancy garden stuff they're flogging
While I was there, I spotted this rattan planter for £19.99 that looks way more expensive than it is. It's made of plastic instead of wood, which means it won't rot when it inevitably rains for 40 days straight.
There's also this "ombre rock solar stake light" for £2.99 that looks like something you'd see in one of those fancy gardens on Instagram. You can get three for £7.99 which saves you a whole 98p. Revolutionary savings, I know.
Will this actually save my dying garden?
I installed mine last night (took about 30 seconds - even I couldn't mess it up). This morning I set it for 15 minutes before leaving for work.
When I got home, my plants weren't doing that sad wilting thing they normally do! Small victories.
For under a fiver, it might just be the best garden investment I've ever made. Though considering my track record, that's not saying much.
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Statistics
- According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American spends about $1,500 per year on coffee.
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How To Understand and Use Credit Cards Wisely
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