I nearly spat out my coffee when I saw this. Pizza Hut – yes, the place where I celebrated literally EVERY birthday between ages 7-12 – has just dropped what might be the most chaotic food mashup since that time my cousin put ice cream on his lasagna. (He was 26, by the way. No excuse.)
The burger-pizza hybrid that's making me question everything
So here's the deal. Pizza Hut has launched this whole "Cheeseburger Pizza" range across the UK. And I'm not talking about just throwing some beef on a pizza and calling it a day. These madlads have gone all in with tomato sauce, mozzarella, red onions, gherkins and some triple cheese situation with special sauce. It's like they've kidnapped a McDonald's cheeseburger and stretched it out into pizza form.
God. I'm actually salivating while typing this.
Three flavours that'll make you forget about that diet you promised to start
They've rolled out three versions – beef (obviously), breaded chicken (which honestly sounds like it might be the best one), and a veggie option for my friend Sasha who hasn't shut up about being plant-based since 2019.
You can get these on any base, but they're pushing the stuffed crust pairing pretty hard. My arteries are screaming just thinking about it, but... worth it? Probably.
What's the damage to your wallet?
These pizzas start from £19.94, which isn't exactly cheap for pizza, but then again, I spent £4.50 on a coffee this morning that tasted like burnt cardboard, so who am I to judge how anyone spends their money?
I remember back in 2017 when you could get a decent Pizza Hut delivery for under £15. Those days are long gone, my friends.
The marketing people are feeling pretty smug
Jana Ulaite (their Chief Marketing Officer) is out here calling Pizza Hut "the original rebels" which... I mean... is a bit much for a chain that exists in shopping malls, but I'll let it slide because I'm distracted by cheese.
She said something about "delivering on taste, creativity and excitement" which is exactly what my ex promised before making me teh blandest spaghetti I've ever eaten. At least Pizza Hut might actually deliver on that promise.
Wait, Big Zuu and AJ Tracey are involved somehow?
This whole menu launch is apparently tied to some new Sky show with Big Zuu and AJ Tracey where they travel around eating expensive and weird food. Big Zuu (who's actually a proper cook) has already tried these new pizzas and supposedly loved them.
But like... he's being paid to say that, right? Although, the man knows food, so maybe there's something to it.
I'm weirdly invested in this now. My housemate walked in while I was looking at the pictures and just said "We're ordering that this weekend, aren't we?" Yes. Yes we are.
Summer of weird pizza experiments?
Apparently Pizza Hut is hinting at more menu changes throughout summer. Part of me is excited, and part of me is terrified they'll go too far. Remember when they did that hot dog stuffed crust? I tried it after a night out in 2018 adn still have nightmares.
But I'll be honest – I'm gonna try this cheeseburger abomination the second it's available near me.
Listen. We all have our guilty pleasures. Some people watch Love Island. I eat novelty pizzas and then lie about it when my gym trainer asks how my week's been.
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