Alright, confession time. I've spent the last three weekends in a prosecco-fueled haze "researching" bottomless brunches across the UK. My liver hates me, my bank account is crying, but my editor promised this would make a great piece (and covered my tab at the last place, bless him).
Let me tell you something about bottomless brunches.
They're a goddamn tactical operation. Dive in too fast with teh cocktails before your food arrives and you'll find yourself in an Uber home by noon, wallet lighter and dignity shattered. Been there. The pros know you line that stomach first, THEN attack the drink menu like there's a prohibition coming tomorrow.
Slug & Lettuce: The Undisputed Champion
Listen. I wasn't expecting to crown a chain with plastic flowers and neon "Live Laugh Love" signs as the winner, but here we are. At £33.95 per person (£39.95 on Saturdays because they know that's when you're desperate), Slug & Lettuce delivers the goods.
You get EIGHT different cocktails to choose from – Aperol Spritz, Woo Woo, and other classics that would normally set you back £13.45 for just two if you came for regular drinks. The food menu hits that perfect sweet spot between "fancy enough to Instagram" and "stodgy enough to soak up five mimosas." Think eggs benedict for the sophisticated friend in your group and bacon cheeseburgers for the rest of us normal people.
I did the math while slightly tipsy. Two rounds of 2-for-1 cocktails plus a burger would cost you £40.85 normally. The bottomless package? £33.95. That's nearly seven quid saved even if you drink conservatively (which... let's be honest, who does at bottomless?).
Worth every penny.
Las Iguanas: Solid Runner-Up With Surprising Food
Coming in at £37.95, Las Iguanas is the place your friend who's "so over avocado toast" will thank you for choosing. Their South American theme translates to a menu that actually excites me – Katsu curry, chilli con carne, quesadillas that'll help you power through another round.
The cocktail list is where opinions might split. They've got 10 options, but with names like "Coconut Sour Bomb" and "Wray of Sunshine," there's a real risk of ordering something that makes your face do that weird involuntary scrunch. I gambled on something with coconut and immediately regretted my life choices.
Value-wise, it's decent. Two rounds of 2-for-1 cocktails and a main would normally cost about £34, so you're only really winning if you drink like you're trying to forget your ex's wedding is tomorrow.
Why Is Everyone Obsessed With Megan's?
I went to Megan's with such high hopes. The place is Instagram heaven – all floral ceilings and rustic wooden tables. Perfect for the "look how fabulous my life is" Sunday story.
Reality check: it's a 2/5 at best.
For £25, you get just 90 minutes (not the standard 2 hours) of what I can only describe as prosecco overload. The five drink options include prosecco, Bellinis (which is just prosecco with peach), and Breakfast Martinis. There's an IPA option for the one beer person in your group who's always complaining about "too many bubbles."
The worst part? Food isn't included. At all.
So your £25 quickly becomes £31.90 if you just get loaded hashbrowns (which will leave you hungry) or a whopping £42.90 if you order something substantial like their open kebab with chicken and halloumi.
Megan's was apparently voted "best bottomless in London" and I genuinely wonder if the voters were all suffering from collective amnesia about what they actually paid at the end.
Turtle Bay: Great Cocktails, Painful Price Tag
Back in 2018, I had my birthday bottomless at Turtle Bay and thought I'd discovered heaven. Returning for this article? Not quite the same magic.
At £40.88 (what's with that 88p? Just round it up, people), you get access to 20 different cocktails for two hours. The Caribbean menu is perfect for soaking up rum – curry goat, mac & cheese that'll stick to your ribs, ackee on sourdough for the health-conscious friend who'll be drunk after one daiquiri anyway.
But here's the thing... during happy hour, you could get two 2-for-1 cocktails and curry goat for exactly 88p LESS than the bottomless package. Unless you're planning to drink 6+ cocktails (and honestly, who can even taste the difference after number 4?), the math doesn't add up.
TGI Friday's: The Surprising Dark Horse
I had zero expectations walking into TGI's. Zero. And yet...
For £29.95, you get a decent package. The basic drinks selection is admittedly boring – American Pilsner and house spirits. But for an extra fiver, you can upgrade to actual cocktails like Strawberry Daiquiris and Piña Coladas.
The food situation is... fine. Wings, mozzarella dippers, nachos, and fries come standard. For another tenner you can add a main, but by that point you're approaching Slug & Lettuce territory price-wise without the drink selection.
I watched a group of lads at the next table doing bottomless vodka-cokes at 11am on a Saturday and felt both impressed and concerned for their wellbeing.
The Final Verdict (After My Hangover Cleared)
After spending approximately £4K of my own money on bottomless brunches over the years (don't tell my mother), Slug & Lettuce wins this battle hands down. The combination of decent food included in the price, generous cocktail selection, and the full two-hour window makes it unbeatable for value.
Las Iguanas comes in second purely because their food menu is more interesting, even if their cocktails sound like they were named by someone having a stroke.
Poor Megan's. All style, no substance... like that guy I dated in 2021 who had a great Instagram but couldn't hold a conversation.
So there you have it. My liver is begging for a break, but at least now you know where to spend your hard-earned cash on socially acceptable daytime drinking.
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