God, the audacity.

Ed Miliband stood there yesterday with a straight face and told us that axing winter fuel payments was really about stopping millionaires from cashing in. Millionaires! As if your average pensioner struggling to heat their flat in Blackpool is rolling around in Bentleys and yacht money. The man's either completely delusional or thinks we're all idiots. Maybe both.

When £12K Makes You a "Millionaire"

Here's the thing that makes my blood boil - some of the pensioners who lost out were earning as little as £12,000 a year. Twelve grand! That's barely enough to cover rent in most places, let alone heating bills that can hit £200+ a month in winter. But apparently in Ed's world, that makes you one of "the richest in our society."

I swear, these politicians live in such a bubble they might as well be on Mars.

The Net Zero Secretary - and doesn't that title just roll off the tongue like sandpaper - had the nerve to say: "The principal question was, the richest in our society, should they get the winter fuel payment, should millionaires, should the richest get the winter fuel payment? I think the answer for most people to that is no."

Andrew Bowie Wasn't Having It

Thank Christ someone called him out on this nonsense. Shadow Energy Secretary Andrew Bowie absolutely tore into "Red Ed" (love that nickname, by the way) and didn't mince words: "Red Ed is even more out of touch than we thought if he thinks people will believe this pack of lies."

Harsh? Maybe. Accurate? Absolutely.

Bowie went on: "The economy is worse off than when they found it – taxes higher, unemployment higher and living standards lower. He is just trying to rewrite history to try and cover up Labour's embarrassing U-turn."

And there it is. The truth that Miliband's desperately trying to spin away.

Meanwhile, His Pet Project Gets Protected

Here's where it gets really rich (pun intended). While pensioners were getting their heating support yanked away, Miliband made damn sure his precious £13 billion "warm homes" scheme stayed untouched ahead of next week's spending review.

Thirteen. Billion. Pounds.

For insulation, solar panels, and heat pumps that half the time don't work properly anyway. My neighbor got one of those heat pumps installed last year - sounds like a jet engine taking off every morning at 6 AM. Poor guy's heating bills actually went up.

But sure, Ed. Tell us more about how this was all about fiscal responsibility and stopping the wealthy from gaming teh system. (And yes, I know I spelled "the" wrong - I'm typing this while furious and my fingers aren't cooperating.)

The Rewrite That Fooled Nobody

What really gets me is how transparent this whole thing is. Labour made a politically toxic decision, realized it was going to cost them votes, partially reversed it, and now they're trying to pretend it was always about targeting the ultra-wealthy.

It's like watching someone trip over their own feet and then claim they were doing interpretive dance.

Chancellor Rachel Reeves clearly decided protecting Miliband's green vanity projects was more important than admitting they screwed up the winter fuel calculation from day one. The optics are terrible - cut heating support for pensioners earning £12K, but ring-fence billions for schemes that sound good in Guardian editorials but don't actually keep people warm.

Listen, I'm all for energy efficiency and climate action. But when you're choosing between keeping actual people warm right now versus theoretical future benefits that might materialize in a decade... well, that choice should be obvious to anyone with a functioning moral compass.

Apparently Ed Miliband's compass is pointing somewhere else entirely.

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