Jesus. I never thought I'd see the day when an Irish rap group would be causing this much chaos in Westminster. But here we are.
The Home Office has basically told Glastonbury organisers to get their act together after footage emerged of controversial Irish rap trio Kneecap allegedly shouting "The only good Tory is a dead Tory" and "Kill your local MP" during a performance. Not exactly subtle, lads.
When music and politics collide... messily
I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday when this whole drama exploded. Conservative Shadow Minister Mark Francois was absolutely livid in the Commons, calling it "unconscionable" that these guys might still get to perform at one of Britain's most iconic festivals. And honestly? I kinda see his point.
Home Office Minister Dan Jarvis (who I actually met at a charity thing back in 2019 - seemed decent enough) took a diplomatic approach while still making his position crystal clear. He called the remarks "dangerous and irresponsible" but added that "it is not for government ministers to say who is going to appear at Glastonbury, it's for the organisers of the festival."
Translation: We can't officially ban them, but you'd be bloody stupid to let them perform.
£14,000 of YOUR money?!
The whole thing gets even messier when you realize these guys received over £14,000 in taxpayer funding. That's right - your hard-earned cash potentially supporting a group who've been caught on video apparently supporting proscribed terrorist organizations.
Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp didn't mince words, calling their comments "evil" and accusing them of "attacking democracy itself." Strong stuff.
Jarvis confirmed that officials are now reviewing teh music export growth scheme in light of these comments. About time.
Sorry not sorry?
Amid the firestorm (and probably after a panicked call from their PR person), Kneecap issued an apology to the families of murdered MPs Sir David Amess and Jo Cox, saying: "We never intended to cause you hurt."
Look, I've written some half-arsed apologies in my time - like when I forgot my mother-in-law's birthday last year and claimed my calendar app crashed - but this one takes the cake. Francois dismissed it as "crocodile tears" and Starmer's spokesperson called it "half hearted."
Hard to argue with that assessment.
Remember what we've lost
This isn't just political posturing. Labour MP David Taylor made a point that hit home for me. "Words have tragic consequences," he said, noting that "June 16, 2016, remains one of the worst days of my life" - referring to Jo Cox's murder.
I remember exactly where I was when that news broke. Standing in a Tesco Express, staring at my phone in disbelief. Then in 2021, we lost Sir David Amess in another horrific attack.
These weren't just politicians. They were people with families, hopes, dreams.
So what happens now?
The Met is assessing the video, along with another clip from November 2024 where a Kneecap member apparently shouted: "Up Hamas, up Hezbollah" - both banned terrorist groups in the UK.
Meanwhile, Labour MP David Taylor has gone further, urging iTunes, YouTube and Spotify to remove Kneecap's songs altogether. He's also called on Jeremy Corbyn (who was photographed with the trio) to apologize.
God. Remember when the biggest controversy at Glastonbury was whether the toilets would overflow?
I've got tickets this year. Paid a small fortune for them too. But I've gotta say, if these guys are still on the lineup come June, it's gonna cast a pretty dark shadow over what should be a celebration of music and togetherness.
Let's see what the Glastonbury chiefs decide.
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