I nearly choked on my morning coffee when I read about Sir Lindsay Hoyle's latest attempt to justify his lavish globetrotting. The Commons Speaker has blown through a quarter million quid of OUR money in just two years, and his defense? He's apparently saving Britain from the horror of an "empty chair" at conferences. God. As if the UK would collapse without his presence in the Cayman Islands.
Let me catch you up on this mess. Hoyle (he's 67, by teh way) has been on a whirlwind tour that would make rock stars jealous - 19 trips across the globe since 2022. We're talking exotic locales like Japan, Qatar, and those famously diplomatic powerhouses... the Cayman Islands. Because nothing says "speaking truth to power" like a Caribbean getaway, right?
First-Class Hypocrisy, Anyone?
The kicker? Over £180,000 went to first-class and business-class plane tickets. This while regular Brits are choosing between heating and eating. My neighbor Janet hasn't turned her heating on since February because of energy costs, but sure, Sir Lindsay absolutely NEEDS that extra legroom to properly represent us.
Back in 2019, I attended a parliamentary event where MPs were lecturing about fiscal responsibility. The irony is suffocating now.
What's His Actual Excuse?
When cornered by the Sunday Times, Hoyle compared himself to the Prime Minister attending G7 summits. I'm sorry, what? Last I checked, Keir Starmer wasn't elected to be a ceremonial figure who bangs a gavel.
"There's two ways we could do it. Leave an empty chair without the UK attending," Hoyle pontificated. "What does that say about the UK's standing in the world to leave an empty chair – especially with global events at the moment."
Apparently, without Sir Lindsay personally flying first-class to Japan, Russia would've already annexed Scotland. Who knew?
The "Everybody Else Does It Worse" Defense
His trump card? Other Speakers bring "dozens of staff" and use private jets! This is like when my 9-year-old nephew argues he should get ice cream because his friend Tommy got TWO scoops. I spent $43 on train tickets last month to visit my mum in hospital, and this guy's dropping thousands on chauffeur-driven cars.
Ridiculous.
Speaking Truth to... Whom Exactly?
Hoyle claims he's "speaking truth to power to the Chinese and to Russia." I'd love to have been a fly on the wall for those conversations. "Excuse me, Mr. Putin, the UK Commons Speaker strongly disapproves of your actions!" I'm sure Vladimir was shaking in his boots.
My colleague who works in diplomatic circles (and wishes to remain nameless for obvious reasons) texted me after reading Hoyle's defense: "If he's influenced international policy in any meaningful way, I'll eat my diplomatic passport."
Look, I understand international engagement matters. But there's a difference between necessary diplomatic work and... whatever this is.
The Real Cost
While Hoyle jets around in business class, Parliament itself is literally crumbling. I visited Westminster last autumn and saw buckets catching rainwater in the corridors. The place is falling apart while its Speaker globe-trots on our dime.
And let's not forget - this is the same Parliament that's been telling public sector workers to tighten their belts for years.
The saddest part? There's nothing we can really do about it. Hoyle will continue his international adventure tour, and we'll continue paying for it.
Sometimes I wonder if any of them understand what it's like out here for normal people. Probably not... at least not from 35,000 feet in first class.
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Did you miss our previous article...
https://hellofaread.com/politics/starmers-lastditch-scramble-to-save-british-motors-from-trumps-trade-tantrum
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