
So here's the deal that's been brewing behind closed doors at Westminster.
Home Secretary Yvette Cooper just got handed what amounts to a performance bonus scheme from Rachel Reeves. The Chancellor's basically saying: cut those migrant hotel costs faster, and you get to keep more of the savings for your own pet projects. It's like giving your teenager extra allowance for doing chores without being nagged – except we're talking about billions of taxpayer pounds here.
The Numbers That Make Your Eyes Water
We're hemorrhaging £4billion annually on housing migrants who've made the journey via small boats or hidden in lorries. Four. Billion. That's not pocket change we're talking about – that's serious money that could build hospitals, fix roads, or hell, maybe even give teachers a decent pay rise for once.
My source close to the Treasury negotiations (and yes, they exist despite what politicians claim about leaks) tells me Reeves wants Cooper to slash £500million next year. Then another £1billion the year after. The kicker? Usually the Treasury would just swipe back any savings like a parent confiscating birthday money. But this time, Cooper gets to keep some if she beats her targets.

Cooper's Been Busy Making Her Case
Poor Cooper's been running around Whitehall like a woman possessed, trying to squeeze more cash out of Reeves ahead of next Wednesday's Spending Review. Can't blame her really – she's got coppers on the beat dealing with more criminals walking free (thanks to our overcrowded prisons), plus the security services are stretched thin with threats coming from every direction.
The woman's in an impossible position. Cut hotel costs while keeping everyone safe and maintaining some semblance of order. Right.
When Numbers Go Completely Mental
Here's where it gets properly ridiculous. The National Audit Office just dropped a bombshell: migrant hotel costs over the next decade? Try £15.3billion. That's triple what they originally thought we'd spend.
And before anyone starts pointing fingers at the previous lot, the numbers have actually gotten worse under Starmer's watch. We had 29,585 migrants in hotels before the election. By December, that jumped to 38,079. It's dropped back to 32,345 in March, but we're still moving in teh wrong direction.
Listen – I've covered enough spending reviews to know when ministers are genuinely panicking, and Cooper's definitely feeling the heat.
The Chancellor's Playing Hardball
Reeves isn't budging on her fiscal rules, which means no extra borrowing. Translation: there's basically no new money floating around for anyone. Angela Rayner was still locked in negotiations with the Treasury as of last night, probably arguing over every penny for housing projects.
It's like watching a family budget meeting where everyone wants more allowance but dad's already maxed out the credit cards.
The incentive scheme for Cooper is clever, I'll give Reeves that. Instead of just demanding cuts and walking away, she's created a system where success gets rewarded. Whether it'll actually work in practice... well, that's the £4billion question, isn't it?
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Did you miss our previous article...
https://hellofaread.com/politics/when-your-billionaire-buddies-have-a-meltdown-and-the-white-house-has-to-play-therapist