Jesus Christ. Another day, another culture war battle that absolutely nobody asked for. I was scrolling through my news feed this morning (coffee in hand, still half asleep) when this little gem popped up. Had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
What's Actually Happening Here?
So here's the deal – Reform UK has decided that councils under their control will no longer be allowed to fly LGBT Pride flags. None. Zero. Zilch. Their chairman Zia Yusuf made this announcement yesterday with all the subtlety of a brick through a window.
According to Yusuf, only the Union Jack, St George's Cross, and individual county flags will be permitted on council buildings. No exceptions. The 10 English local authorities that Reform managed to snag in last week's local elections will apparently implement these rules "at speed" – whatever that means.
I mean, seriously? This is what they're focusing on?
The Inevitable Tory Meltdown
Here's where it gets properly ridiculous. In his initial announcement, Yusuf somehow forgot to mention that county flags would be allowed. This triggered an absolute meltdown from several Conservative MPs, including former Cabinet Minister Tom Tugendhat, who accused Reform of "denying our history."
A Reform source (who I'm guessing was frantically trying to put out this self-inflicted fire) clarified that county flags would indeed be acceptable. Then they couldn't help but add: "The Tories seem more upset about Reform councils flying the union flag than their councils flying the trans flag. It sums up the state of teh Tory party, the sooner they're consigned to the dustbin of history, the better."
Back in 2022, I covered a local council meeting where they spent 45 minutes debating which flags to fly. Forty-five minutes! The public toilets were literally falling apart, but sure, let's argue about fabric on a pole.
Remember When Flags Were Just... Flags?
This isn't even the first time this has happened. Last year, the Conservative-led Great Yarmouth council got a public telling-off from their own MP, Rupert Lowe, for having the audacity to fly the LGBT rainbow flag.
Labour MP Mike Tapp pointed out something actually relevant – Reform's new rules would prevent town halls from showing solidarity with Ukraine by flying their colors. But I guess that's collateral damage in this grand flag crusade.
The Bigger Question Nobody's Asking
Look, I've spent way too much time covering local politics. Like, an embarrassing amount. And I can tell you that most council buildings I've visited can barely keep their heating working or their toilets flushing properly.
My editor asked me yesterday if I thought this would actually matter to voters. I laughed so hard I spilled coffee on my keyboard (still sticky, thanks for asking).
The truth? Most people walking past their local council building probably couldn't tell you what flag is flying above it if you offered them £50.
Meanwhile, the bins still need collecting, the potholes need filling, and local services continue to be slashed. But sure... let's make flags the hill we die on.
What's Next – Regulating Office Plants?
I can't help wondering where this ends. Will Reform councils next ban rainbow-colored pens? Pride-themed coffee mugs in the staff kitchen? That one secretary who wears really colorful socks?
God help us all.
If you're wondering whether I've reached out to Reform UK for comment on this story – I have. Their press office promised to get back to me "soon." That was 6 hours ago. I'm not holding my breath.
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