SPARE a thought or a shrug for those of us who couldn’t give the remotest toss about Harry and Meghan.
It’s been a testing few weeks as, slowly but surely, we’ve all found ourselves caught up in the dumbest TV pub fight of all time.
One group of pundits shouts “hypocrites”, the other screams “racists”, and on and on it swirls until the stupidest person in the Zoom chat yelps: “Why can’t you just leave them alone?”
Aberdeen sacked their manager, Derek McInnes, about an hour before ITV’s “bombshell interview”, and never in my life have I wanted to watch Sky Sports News and leave those two alone more.
But I have to follow the ratings here and 12million of you tuned into their pity party with Oprah Winfrey, another person whose alleged charm and “brilliance” has always managed to escape me.
She’s a good listener but an Olympic-class sycophant and queen of the leading question — “Were you silent . . . or SILENCED?” A glorified PR who’s dangerously ill-informed about Britain and royal matters, so there was never the remotest chance of her pointing out the only member of “the institution” who’s ever been recorded making racist comments is the King of Woke himself, Prince Harry.
At best, then, I was expecting Meghan Markle’s Celebrity Big Brother eviction interview.
What I got was more like Tom and Barbara from The Good Life doing the Judges’ Houses segment of The X Factor, with a stone gazebo and a chicken hut where Meghan, minus all the subtlety of a ram raid, told Oprah: “I just like rescuing.”
Personally, I’d have kicked off massively if I thought a significant other was comparing me to a rescued battery hen, as the physical and professional likeness is far too close for comfort. Harry didn’t, bless his heart.
Nor, when he was graciously allowed to join the second half of the chat, did he react with a startled “You said WHAT?” when Oprah relayed the racism charge against a mystery member of the Royal Family.
Their accounts of this incident may differ significantly, you see, but they speak as one on everything and it’s always through the prism of Rachel Zane from Suits who seems to have a fairly flexible relationship with facts.
I am, for instance, perfectly prepared to believe that she worked at an LA outlet called Humphrey Yogart, which would be located next to the Ava Gardening Center, in a just and sane universe. But unless I’m the only one who hasn’t been invited, “tabloid holiday parties at the Palace” exist only in a fantasy world.
Oprah never challenged her on any of this, of course, and that may be the reason, having not really bothered with Harry and Meghan before, I found myself coming round to Piers Morgan’s opinion.
Their self-absorption and sense of entitlement is truly overwhelming.
To watch Meghan Markle comparing herself to The Little Mermaid, or complaining about having to google the National Anthem, without the help of a Palace flunky, is to find yourself lost in admiration for the uncomplaining lives of the Queen and Prince Philip, who both, let’s not forget, fought real Nazis during the Second World War, rather than the imaginary ones who infest the minds of Meghan and Harry’s most shrill supporters.
If you want to know the perfect way to react to Monday night’s performance, you also just need to read the Queen’s Tuesday night statement. If you want to know the wrong way to react, you can watch again Piers Morgan storming out of GMB, in a fit of pique with Alex Beresford the weatherman, of all people.
Piers quit GMB the same day and the irony here is the people out to destroy him were the same woke lobby he’s spent the last 12 months courting with all his Trump denunciations and anti- Government diatribes.
A waste of breath.
Unless you buy into their whole right-on package of political postures and truly believe feelings are more important than facts, you’ll always be targeted for cancellation.
Piers will be fine, obviously.
The people I feel sorry for are the viewers of GMB, which will probably turn into another woke wasteland filled with the sort of bland, head-tilting, privilege-lecturing cultists I could find on every other breakfast yawn, current affairs show, drama, soap and daytime programme right now. Telly sucks.