Jesus Christ. Just when you think the Royal soap opera couldn't get any weirder. Yesterday the King got dragged into his brother's latest disaster - this time involving an alleged Chinese spy. I swear the writers of The Crown must be cackling with glee right now.
Secret Castle Meetings (Like Something Out of a Bad Movie)
So here's what happened. Court docs just dropped revealing that Prince Andrew and his advisor Dominic Hampshire had TWO secret meetings with King Charles at Windsor Castle. And when I say secret, I mean cloak-and-dagger, smuggled-in-the-back-door secret. Hampshire literally wrote that they "took all precautions to get in and out of Windsor Castle without being seen." Like... are these grown men or teenagers sneaking out past curfew?
The meetings were apparently about finding new "roles" for Andrew after the whole Epstein catastrophe. Because God forbid a 64-year-old man just retire quietly after disgracing the entire monarchy.
One brilliant idea they discussed? A job with something called the "Eurasia Fund" - a Chinese investment thing focused on renewable energy in Africa. Sounds legit, right?
Wrong.
Wait... Who Invited the Spy?!
Turns out one of the junior partners in this fund was a guy named Yang Tengbo, previously known as "H6" in court papers. This dude got KICKED OUT of Britain in 2023 because MI5 - you know, actual intelligence professionals - said he was a threat to national security. MI5 claimed he was doing "covert and deceptive activity" for the Chinese Communist Party.
But according to Hampshire's witness statement, he and Andrew "genuinely trusted" this guy. There had "never been one single red flag." Except, you know, the giant red flag with the five gold stars on it.
The Palace Goes into Damage Control (Again)
The Palace PR machine kicked into overdrive almost immediately. Their statement basically said: "Yeah, Charles met with Andrew about money stuff, but nobody ever mentioned this H6/spy guy during those meetings."
They also made sure to point out that neither the King nor his advisers gave any kind of approval for this investment scheme. Smart move - distance yourself from teh train wreck.
Hampshire's "Embarrassing" Statement
Hampshire tried to block the release of his 10-page witness statement because it contained "embarrassing" and "indiscreet" information. The judge basically laughed this off, saying the material "cannot possibly be said to be confidential" even if it was embarrassing for Andrew.
In his statement, Hampshire dropped this little bomb: "After the Newsnight interview and in the following few months, it was clear that the duke's reputation was irrecoverable. This was a common feeling within the royal household, despite what the duke thought may happen."
Translation: Everyone except Andrew knew he was finished after that interview. I watched that interview back in 2019 with my roommates and we were literally screaming at the TV. "No sweat" will haunt that man forever.
The Project That Never Was
For what it's worth, this whole African renewable energy project never actually happened. It never traded, never made any money. Hampshire insists Andrew "did not receive a penny in funding or support, directly or indirectly, from any Chinese individual or entity."
Hampshire also made sure to note that he no longer works for the Royals: "I left the Royal household in 2022, and I now no longer provide advice – formally or informally – to the Duke of York." Smart move, buddy. I'd put that on my LinkedIn too.
Listen. At some point, you'd think someone would just tell Andrew to go live quietly in a cottage somewhere. Play golf. Write memoirs nobody wants to read. Anything but continue creating international incidents involving foreign intelligence services.
But then again, what would we all talk about over Sunday dinner?
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