AFTER an acting career spanning four decades, Kellie Bright knows her industry well enough to be certain that she doesnt want her own children to follow in her footsteps.
Although shes successfully transitioned from child star to soap actress (shes about to take centre stage on EastEnders this Christmas as Queen Vic matriarch Linda Carters drinking spirals out of control) with a CV covering TV, film, theatre and Strictly, and boasting a number of awards to boot, there have also been bumps in the road.
EastEnders star Kellie Bright has opened up about how says she no longer cares what other people think of her
The jobs she missed out on, the periods of unemployment and the rejections she suffered all knocked her confidence and caused her to question her worth, and she cant bear the thought of Freddie, eight, and three-year-old Gene ever feeling like that.
Acting is a profession where youre constantly putting yourself up for potential rejection and its hard to stop that seeping in, Kellie says. Thats why I wouldnt want my children to do it.
I love actors and I love people who are creative, but I dont want my children to have those constant knockbacks through life because you cant help but feel less than when youre not working.
It becomes: Why arent I working? Am I too fat, too ugly, too old? These questions came up for me again and again when I was younger and I think it can really affect you as a person.
Kellie has starred in the TV soap as Linda Carter since 2013
As an actor youre always looking for validation.
“Thats the hardest part of the gig, trying to accept that you are valid as a human being whether you are working in a shoe shop or on stage at the Globe and Ive done both! That acceptance only comes with age, I think.
She might have battled those self-esteem issues during her 20s after first finding fame as a teenager on kids favourite T-Bag and sitcom The Upper Hand, but the Kellie here today is the epitome of togetherness.
Shes confident, intelligent, instantly likeable and entirely at ease with herself.
Her features seem softer than Lindas, her speech is less clipped and with age has come a defiance that was no better illustrated than a Twitter post earlier this year while on route to the NTAs: Cant wait to see how many worst-dressed lists I am on tomorrow. Bring it on!.
Kellie first found fame as a teenager on kids favourite T-Bag and sitcom The Upper Hand
She says she no longer cares what other people think of her and, at 43, is proud of her Botox- and filler-free face.
Everyone has their own journey and they can do what they want, but I would like to see more women being celebrated for however they are at whatever age they are.
I would love to see more women in their 40s and 50s who havent gone down that [surgery] road, showing younger women that its OK to have lines on your face and to enjoy having those lines they are a part of you and your story and how you got to this point.
Youre only fighting a losing battle if you dont embrace your ageing face. Where do you stop?
“What are you going to do when you are 60 or 70? I feel like we have got into this state, fuelled by social media, where people have formed their faces into masks that are completely smooth and dont move.
“Theres no expression there. I dont understand it. Come on, its all right to have a frown line!
“Theres a sense of a responsibility, as a woman on one of the countrys leading soaps and the platform that comes with it, to show what real faces look like and send out a positive message of self-acceptance.
Its sad how its growing and normalised and what its doing is making girls in their 20s think they need to have it done.
“What about the joy in celebrating an individual face? And crooked teeth? And laughter lines?
I wont do it to myself because I feel that strongly about it. I dont mind being 43 and having lines on my face! If other people arent OK with my lines then that is their problem, not mine.
Kellie, 43, says she is proud of her Botox- and filler-free face
Its been six turbulent, drama-filled years since the Carter family moved into Walford and its now almost impossible to imagine the Square without them.
At the heart of it all is the powerful partnership between Kellie and Danny Dyer as childhood sweethearts Linda and Mick, whose intense on-screen chemistry makes every scene they share hugely watchable.
Oh, we laugh every day, says Kellie. I love him dearly, he is one of my best friends. If we hadnt got on I dont know if wed still be here, to be honest.
We have each others backs, we look after each other and we know how to get the best out of each other. Danny is such a team-player, he is not a selfish actor and he wants it to be good for everyone, not just for him.
The decision to cast Danny raised some eyebrows at the time, but turned out to be a stroke of genius.
Kellie said she laughs every day with Danny Dyer, who plays Linda’s childhood sweetheart Mick
Back then, he was often the subject of ridicule, best known for making low-budget, little-watched British gangster movies, but hes become something of a national treasure and Kellie says hes proved a lot of people wrong.
When we first started, there was a lot of pressure, everyones eyes were on him and actually a lot of people were waiting for him to f**k it up. But he didnt. In fact he did the opposite of that and all credit to him.
That brilliant partnership will be key over the next few weeks theres no such thing as a peaceful Christmas in Albert Square and viewers will see Lindas life start to unravel as alcoholism takes a grip, culminating in a devastating New Years Eve episode that follows her on a night out.
Its been really challenging because playing drunk is one of the hardest things to do, she says.
But Ive also loved it and its been like getting a new character, a whole different side to this person who Ive played all this time.
Kellie said she would like to see more women being celebrated for however they are at whatever age they are
“Booze turns Linda into someone who is almost unrecognisable, which is what I wanted I wanted it to be hard to see her like that. And then also to see the flip-side the next day the shame, the embarrassment, the mortification.
Addiction is an illness and, for Linda, drinking is about escape. She wants the world to f**king stop. She wants to press pause on her life and erase all of this pain. She doesnt want to feel any of it.
Kellie speaks about the story line with passion and belief to say that she has thrown herself into this role would be an understatement.
Before shooting the New Years Eve episode, she took herself off to her caravan in Cornwall just herself and the dog and in the name of research, filmed the aftermath of downing six shots, which is what Linda has at the beginning of the night.
Lets just say that I do not have the same capacity for alcohol, she says, laughing. Within 45 minutes I had passed out and was sick! But those videos were so valuable. Every five minutes I filmed myself doing my lines and I was repeating myself the whole time.
“You can see the moments where it hits me you dont get that in a script. I also watched a lot of YouTube footage, which was terrifying because it was mostly phone videos, and there were loads of young girls and that was scary. If anything it has made me want to drink less.
She adds: Just from personal experience, I started drinking more after I had my children.
“Before kids I would only really drink when I went out, but when you have a child youre in all of the time and I can remember putting my first baby to bed, walking downstairs and the first thing Id do was pour myself a glass of wine.
I dont consider myself as someone who has had a drink problem, but I definitely started drinking more and I can see how things could creep up on you. You dont notice it yourself until youre in it.
Kellie says she likes Linda but isnt sure theyd be friends. They are polar opposites right the way down to the way they dress, which was a conscious move by Kellie to keep work and real life very separate.
Patsy Palmer said to me when I first started: The further you go away from yourself, the better it is, and thats definitely been the case for me. People dont bat an eyelid when they see me out because Im not dressed in pink and I dont have a doughnut in my head.
The long hours filming have meant extra juggling at home. Husband Paul Stocker is also an actor (he has even appeared on EastEnders as a detective) and they have a part-time nanny to help fill the gaps.
I have an amazing husband and I would struggle if I didnt. Most of the time it feels just about manageable.
“At the moment its crazy and has been since September, but I know it wont last forever. If the last six weeks were my normal life I would burn out within a year.
Kellie is this week’s Fabulous cover star
My eldest understands it more. Its my youngest really, he doesnt have a clue and yesterday he just sat on top of me like: You are not moving! Often Ive left the house before he gets up and Im not home until after he has gone to bed, so it can be difficult.
Kellie gave birth to Gene at 40 after it took much longer than expected to conceive second time around.
I struggled to get pregnant the second time. Thats just the way it happened for us. I love being the age I am and I dont in any way feel like Im too old. But Im more knackered than I was 20 years ago.
All you need is a younger husband! Hes seven years younger and Ive decided Im going to adopt Pauls age mentally because maybe if I think of myself as 36 Ill have more energy!
Shortly after Gene was born, Kellie said shed like a third child, but shes thought again since then.
My life is busy enough. Its not so much about having another one that would be the concern, its more about time having time for my job, my husband, our children and then any time left over for me. But then I do love a baby. If only they could be babies forever!
Away from EastEnders, Kellie has a keen interest in environmental science and plans to go back and study, possibly for an Open University degree. She is also an ambassador for Veganuary, motivated by her concerns about climate change.
We all need to try to look at reducing our carbon footprint and one of the biggest things for most households is what theyre consuming and so even if you just do it for January youre making a big impact.
Beth spoke to Kellie about her upcoming storyline in EastEnders
Shes also been turning her hand to writing with her close friend Rebecca Callard and the series theyve scripted, Magic And Sparkle, which focuses on two former child stars as adults (fancy that!), has just been optioned by a production company.
We wanted to write something about women in their 40s being interesting, strong and not necessarily wives or mothers, and their friendship.
I dont know where it will lead, but its happening and were really enjoying writing it. Rebecca is one of my best friends, she is godmother to my youngest and I am godmother to her eldest, she was bridesmaid at my wedding and so writing this together is a joyful thing.
But right now Kellie is focusing on having time off with the family over Christmas and New Year. Filming shuts down for two weeks, which will give her a chance to spend some quality time with the boys.
They grow up so fast, she says. My eldest has just turned eight and I want to bottle him because he is just so loving and sensitive. But I know it wont last forever, so Im just squeezing out the last few drops of him wanting Mummy all the time before he moves on.
But that is part of being a parent, too. I love being a mum. I love my boys, I am so grateful.
Watch EastEnders every night this week, BBC1.
Hair: Dino Pereira using Kiehls Since 1851 Magic Elixir
Make-up: Aimee Adams using Nars
Styling: Nana Acheampong
Kellie wears blazer, trousers, both Autograph at Marks & Spencer. Dress, Asos.com
