God, I hate when people think they have the right to judge someone else's grief. That's exactly what happened to Scott Mitchell, Dame Barbara Windsor's widower, who's now having to defend his relationship with her former EastEnders co-star Tanya Franks.
I watched his interview on Kate Thornton's podcast yesterday and honestly felt my heart break a little. The raw pain in his voice was unmistakable.
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Those 3am Terrors Don't Just Disappear
Scott, who's 60 now, was brutally honest about his ongoing grief. "I still wake in terror," he admitted. That hit me hard. He was married to the Carry On legend for two decades until she passed from Alzheimer's back in 2020, and those wounds clearly haven't healed.
"I still have moments – this morning I was quite emotional – where I just miss her," he shared with Kate. "That doesn't change. I think it will be with me forever."
Isn't that just the reality of losing someone you've built your life around?
The Backlash Nobody Asked For
Listen. Despite going public with Tanya last year, Scott's faced some pretty nasty comments from people who think he's "moved on too fast." His response? "How dare you? People don't know the pain. They don't know what teh grief has been."
RIGHT?!
Who are these keyboard warriors to decide when someone's mourned "enough"? It's been nearly four years since Barbara passed, for heaven's sake.
What Would Babs Say?
Scott believes Barbara would have supported his new relationship. "I would like to believe she would be happy that someone was there by my side and that I wasn't on my own," he explained. "She always used to say to me, 'I never want you to be on your own.'"
I remember interviewing Barbara back in 2016 (before her diagnosis was public), and she spoke so lovingly about Scott. She struck me as someone who'd want her partner to find happiness again.
The way they found each other is actually quite beautiful when you think about it. Scott and Tanya initially connected through their work with the Alzheimer's Society and were friends for years before romance blossomed. They've both experienced the heartbreak of watching someone they love battle dementia – Tanya's stepfather Derek went through something similar.
Turning Pain into Purpose (While Finding Each Other)
Their relationship grew out of shared grief and purpose. As Scott put it on This Morning: "We forged an incredible friendship over the four years and something wonderful blossomed out of it... The exact opposite of what dementia is."
Together they've raised hundreds of thousands for dementia research through marathon running. And Scott's even willing to go further – he joked he'd shave his precious hair off if a company donated a million pounds for next year's marathon!
Tanya seems to genuinely understand Scott's continued devotion to Barbara's memory. "I can do nothing but support him in talking about it," she said. "Barbara is as much about the legacy of Alzheimer's as it is me going through it with my step father."
The Shadow That Never Leaves
What struck me most from Scott's interview was his admission that grief doesn't have a neat endpoint. "I don't think anyone ever gets over a loss of someone they love so deeply," he reflected. "I think we find ways of carrying them with us, and that's what I try to do every day."
I lost my dad in 2018, and those words resonated deeply. You don't "move on" from grief – you move forward with it, somehow incorporating it into your new reality.
Scott's been dealt a tough hand. He watched his vibrant, charismatic wife slowly disappear into the fog of Alzheimer's after her diagnosis in 2014. He kept her secret until 2018, protecting her dignity. And he was by her side when she passed at 83.
The man deserves some happiness, don't you think?
For his tireless campaigning, Scott received an MBE in 2022. But I suspect the real reward has been finding someone who understands both his ongoing love for Barbara and his need to live fully in the present.
And honestly? That seems like exactly what Barbara would have wanted for him.
Frequently Asked Questions
What themes are commonly explored in UK soap operas?
UK soap operas often explore themes such as family dynamics, love, betrayal, social issues, and personal struggles. They reflect real-life situations and societal challenges, making them relatable to viewers.
What are the most popular UK soap operas?
The most popular UK soap operas include "EastEnders," "Coronation Street," "Emmerdale," and "Hollyoaks." Each has a dedicated fan base and has been on air for several decades, contributing significantly to British television culture.
Are there international adaptations of UK soap operas?
Yes, some UK soap operas have inspired international adaptations. For example, "Coronation Street" has been adapted in various countries, showcasing the show's universal themes and appeal.
How do UK soap operas handle controversial topics?
UK soap operas often address controversial topics, such as mental health, domestic violence, and addiction. They aim to raise awareness and spark conversation among viewers, providing a platform for important social issues.
What is the significance of community in UK soap operas?
Community plays a central role in UK soap operas, often depicted through the relationships and interactions among characters. The portrayal of community dynamics reflects societal values and highlights the importance of support systems in people's lives.
Statistics
- Each episode of a UK soap opera typically has a production budget ranging from £100,000 to £250,000, depending on the complexity of the storyline and production requirements.
- Research indicates that viewers of soap operas are more likely to discuss social issues with friends and family, demonstrating the genre's impact on social discourse.
- As of 2023, "EastEnders" has featured over 3,000 episodes since its launch, making it one of the most prolific soap operas in history.
- Approximately 15% of the viewership for UK soap operas comes from overseas audiences, particularly in Australia and New Zealand.
- Hollyoaks, which premiered in 1995, has introduced several high-profile actors who have gone on to have successful careers in television and film.
- More than 30% of the UK population watches at least one soap opera regularly.
- Soap operas in the UK typically air 4 to 6 episodes per week, with "EastEnders" airing four times a week.
- The portrayal of LGBTQ+ characters has become increasingly prominent in UK soap operas, reflecting societal changes and advancements in representation.
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How To
How To Use Soap Operas for Language Learning
Using UK soap operas for language learning can enhance vocabulary and comprehension skills. Begin by selecting a show with accessible dialogue and relatable themes. Watch episodes with subtitles in your target language to aid understanding. Focus on specific scenes or dialogues that highlight everyday language use and idiomatic expressions. After watching, practice speaking by mimicking character dialogues or discussing episodes with peers. Engaging in online language exchange communities can also provide opportunities to practice your skills while discussing your favorite soap operas.
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