I nearly choked on my coffee this morning. Seriously. The absolute state of this new EU deal that Sir Keir's cooked up behind closed doors. It's not just bad - it's catastrophic. And now we're learning the REAL truth about what Brussels actually wants.
Turns out teh EU isn't just demanding free movement for under-35s (which would be bad enough). No, they want these "youths" to bring their entire families along too! Talk about mission creep.
The Fishing Disaster Nobody's Talking About
Let me get this straight. Our PM just handed over British fishing waters to French and Spanish trawlers for ANOTHER 12 YEARS. Twelve! Those coastal communities that were promised control after Brexit? Sorry folks, Starmer just threw you under the bus... or should I say trawler.
God. Remember 2016? All those promises about taking back control of our waters?
Kemi Badenoch didn't mince words when she called this what it is - a complete sellout. She's right to question whether these migrants will have rights to stay permanently, bring dependents, or access taxpayer-funded university places. These aren't small details - they're fundamental questions about our sovereignty that Labour seems determined to ignore.
What's Actually in This Mess?
The deal supposedly adds a pathetic 0.3% growth... in FIFTEEN YEARS. I've seen better returns on my savings account during a recession.
Here's what we're getting:
- Softer checks on food entering the EU (whoop-de-doo)
- Shorter tourist queues (something we already had before Brexit)
- Access to EU defense funds and university exchanges
- Less visa hassle for touring artists
And what are we giving up? Just our fishing waters, our legal independence, and potentially opening the floodgates to millions of EU migrants and their families.
The Morning After Damage Control
Labour's Industry Minister Sarah Jones was wheeled out this morning for damage control. Her response when asked if dependents would be allowed under this scheme? "You can't bring your family, no."
Except... that's exactly what Brussels is demanding! Someone's not being straight with us here, and I suspect it's not the EU.
I talked to a fisherman in Cornwall last week who was cautiously optimistic about the future. Poor bloke. His response when I texted him the news: "Might as well sell my boat now."
Boris Unleashed
Say what you will about Boris Johnson (and I've said plenty over the years), but he didn't hold back, calling Starmer an "orange ball-chewing manacled gimp of Brussels." Colorful language aside, it's hard to argue with the sentiment.
Back in 2020, I remember interviewing fishing community leaders who were nervous but hopeful about Brexit's promises. They trusted the government to protect their interests. Now they've been sold down the river... again.
This isn't what anyone voted for.
The Price Tag Nobody's Mentioning
Oh, and did I mention this all comes with a potential multi-billion pound price tag? During a cost-of-living crisis? When people are choosing between heating and eating?
The whole thing feels like watching someone deliberately drive into a brick wall while insisting they're taking a shortcut.
And now we wait for months of "talks" where Brussels will no doubt extract even more concessions from a PM who seems pathologically unable to say no to Europe.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone in Westminster actually listens to the people who put them there.
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