Simon Cowell swears at David Walliams as he pokes fun at star’s weight loss in Britain’s Got Talent opener tonight


SIMON Cowell swears at David Walliams in a funny James Bond-themed openining sketch on Britain’s Got Talent tonight.

The 60-year-old music mogul is shown cursing as he comes out of his hotel to see the tiny car David has arrived to collect him in, with a tiny Union Jack covering his mouth for the pre-watershed audience.

Simon Cowell is shown swearing on Britain’s Got Talent tonight
He’s not impressed with the dinky car David Walliams picks him up in tonight

He rages: “Are you serious?” and turns to go head back inside before reluctantly clambering in alongside the 48-year-old, who is dressed in a white tuxedo with red flower like Sean Connery’s Bond.

David, 48, pulls away, asking: “Do you think I’d make a good James Bond?” to which Simon replies sarcastically: “Outstanding.”

Unafraid to wind him up a little further, David tells him with a smile: “You’re looking well. Keeping the weight off, aren’t you?”

He then announces: “I thought we’d take a little shortcut to the theatre today” before driving the little car into Manchester’s River Irwell, when it turns into a boat and starts bobbing through the water.

Dressed as James Bond, David pilots the car-boat into the water
Simon inititally throws his hands up and insists the boat ride is ‘fantastic’
However, he changes his mind when Ant and Dec turn up in a huge speedboat
They are later shown looking chummy as they arrived at auditions in Manchester

Simon looks delighted, exclaiming: “This is fantastic” – until Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly arrive in a much bigger boat.

Dec asks: “How long is it going to take you to get to theatre?” David replies calmly: “Probably about seven or eight hours but we’ll be there eventually.”

The Britain’s Got Talent hosts then roar off in their powerful boat, leaving the little car rocking wildly in the water.

Suddenly grumpy again, Simon grumbles: “I was kind of OK with this until those two turned up.”

Across town, Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon have much more comfy transport
The pair turn up at the theatre in a gleaming Aston Martin on tonight’s BGT

However, their fellow judges Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon have no such transport issues, turning up in a 007-style Aston Martin.

But thing are less calm inside the theatre tonight, with 49-year-old Amanda left gasping when Simon nearly blows up a stunt man in one act.

  • Britain’s Got Talent returns to ITV at 8pm tonight

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