Young people will ‘return to offices for sex’ as there are ‘evolutionary’ reasons to ditch work from home, Boris says


YOUNG people will flock back to offices to have sex, Boris Johnson claimed today.

The PM insisted there’s a “sound evolutionary reason why mother nature does not like working from home”.

Boris insisted he wasn’t worried about Brits continuing to work from home as there are ‘evolutionary reasons’ to come back to the office

Millions are still at home and working from their spare rooms and kitchen tables post-pandemic, but Boris said he was confident they would return to offices in time.

At a bizarre address to business chiefs this morning, the PM predicted Brits will “come back on the roads and the rail” to seal a hook up or relationship in future, as he told them not to worry about the future of the workforce.

Today the PM:

  • Announced new homes, offices and supermarkets will be forced to install electric chargers from next year as part of a green revolution
  • Vowed he wanted to slash taxes for businesses – but the Government had to wait for the right moment to do so
  • Hinted young people would return to offices to have relationships and have sex as there are “evolutionary” reasons to ditch working from home
  • Lost his train of thought and struggled for several seconds to find his place in the speech

The unusual comments came as the PM went off rambling tangent during his address to the Confederation of British Industry – with a blast at “stereotypical” Daddy Pig.

This morning Boris hailed “genius” Peppa Pig World as “my kind of place” after a visit with his family last weekend.

They were spotted on the Grampy Rabbit’s Sailing Club boat ride at the park in Hampshire over the weekend.

And the PM told the country’s top chiefs in Newcastle: “Yesterday I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World.

“I love it. Peppa Pig World is very much my kind of place: it has very safe streets, discipline in schools, heavy emphasis on new mass transit systems… even if they are a bit stereotypical about Daddy Pig…”

The PM didn’t say what it was about Daddy Pig, who is an engineer, likes to read the paper, and gets excited about trips in the car, was stereotypical.

Daddy Pig likes to read the paper and gets excited about trips in the car.

Boris Johnson enjoys a family day out at Peppa Pig World with wife Carrie and son Wilfred
The family were spotted on the Grampy Rabbit’s Sailing Club boat ride at the park
The family were spotted on the Grampy Rabbit’s Sailing Club boat ride at the park

He hailed the “power of UK creators”.

“Who would have believed that a pig that looks like a hairdryer or possibly a Picasso-like hairdryer, a pig that was rejected by the BBC, would now be exported to 180 countries with theme parks both in America and China, as well as in the New Forest?

“A business that’s worth at least £6billion pounds to this country – I think that is pure genius, don’t you?

“No Whitehall civil servant count have conceivably come up with Peppa.”

An onlooker told HOAR of their recent outing: “They just looked like a normal family.

“Boris made a joke about how slow the ride was and he seemed in good spirits.

“They had a big security team around them which looked quite odd as one of his guards had to go on the ride on his own.”